So I'm in Chicago. My flight for London doesn't leave O'Hare until Monday afternoon, but I came into town four days early specifically so I could go to work with my friend Mike, who teaches Biology and Environmental Science to high school sophomores in Chicago Public Schools. We've only had two classes so far, but its already been quite a morning. Some exemplary pieces of dialogue:
Student: Mr. K, what are we doing today?
Mr. K: We're taking a quiz.
Student: Boy you trippin! Don't play no games!
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Student: Mr. K, its boring.
Mr K.: You've only been in class for 4 minutes.
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Student 1: Mr. K, I got a question to ask.
Mr. K: What is it?
Student 1: Can humans be asexual?
Student 2: Yeah, when they gay.
Student 3: No, its like the virgin Mary!
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Pregnant student: So carbon dioxide is the stuff that gets up in your house and you die?
Mr. K: No, that's carbon MONoxide.
Pregnant student: Oh, cause I think people is getting confrused about that.
Mr. K: They're getting what?
Pregnant student: Confrused.
Mr. K: What?
Pregnant student: Confrused.
Mr. K: What?
Pregnant student: [silence]
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Student: Mr. K got a big head!
Mr. K: I have a big head?
Student: yeah
Mr. K: You think my head is literally too big for my body.
Student: yeah
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Student: Hey Kosko, "Ever since I can remember . . ."
Mr. K: What?
Student (slower, ala 36Mafia): "Ever since I can remember . . ."
Mr. K: I'm not popping my collar today, get back to work.
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Mr. K: Work on your diagrams!
Student: I just pasted this.
Mr. K: You have to do more than just glue pieces of paper to another larger piece of paper.
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Student: Mr. K, you too strict!!
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Student: Mr. K, you a bad teacher!!
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Mr. K: Do you think I sit home at night trying to figure out how to make you guys my friends?
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Student: [unintelligible mumble]
Mr. K: I have no idea what you just said.
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Student (pointing at me): Mr. K, is you two kin?
Mr. K: ALL WHITE PEOPLE ARE NOT RELATED.
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Also, Derya, have you seen Jezebel's Sephora Spy column? I know, I know, I have serious problems. But I love this shit.
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6 comments:
HA. Oh that is too funny. Mike is so patient. HOw did you not spend the whole time just sitting in a corner having hysterics?
basically, that's all i've been doing ALL DAY.
omg
"I'm not popping my collar today"
I N C R E D I B L E
you couldn't make that up if you tried
i will check the sephora spy
but can't i just keep believing in the goodness of ONE THING that is actually prolly the worst (body image, self esteem wrapped up in products BLAHBLAHBLAH i know i know already!)
if i don't get to say it to your ear
BON VOYAGE DEAREST!
i'll keep that running commentary we spoke about logged here perhaps
eyes open!
i can't figure how else to do this so...
-derya
Glad to see you all landing at a new place!
"Do you think I sit home at night trying to figure out how to make you guys my friends?"
Perfect. I'm going to remember that one for my first-year writing classes.
By the way, you guys can all get individual Blogspot accounts and still contribute to the blog. That way, posts and communts will appear under your actual name, rather than everyone using "no friends."
thanks george!
you're a gem!
So I get up this morning and John says, "Did you read the last posts the AIRs left, they are really wonderful." I had no idea. And so I am reading them and jumping to this nofriends blog and the phone rings. It's Arielle, and she needs a place a place to crash. It felt so good to say, yeah the code is the same, and go on up to Nicholas's apartment, it's open, and there are beds in there.
Really miss you guys --
Had to run the bar last night and I was clueless.
Stay in touch and have a great summer. Betsy
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